Trusting God in the unknowns

Life is full of unknowns.  Right now I'm in the midst of unknowns and depending on God for finances! More than ever!!! I know God can work good out of all this, just right now only enough light for the step I'm on! Not letting go of His hand that will guide me thru.....

1 am

1am I should be sleeping
yet I'm awake
with thoughts of you
in my head and in my heart
you will always be a part me.

I have to let you go
for my sanity
and maybe it's really like they say- if it's meant to be, you'll come back to me.

Being sick

Going to the doctor is my job.  The healthy sometimes give me a funny look, but that's okay.  I wouldn't WANT them to understand.  Heck, I don't even understand my sickness somedays!! But I keep persevering, one foot in front of the other, one step at a time...... tattoo therapy needed!! Lol  

Ying yang

Good and bad
Bad and good
Without each
We couldn't see
Past each other
They the laughter
That is shared
To the tears
That are shed
Together
They the good and bad

Fibro pain

Ouch ouch ouch! I'm so tired of hurting.  So tired of pain.  Wish I could do what normal people do.  But instead, I bite my tongue, see all I lost and won't have again and take my meds and lay down for a while- losing precious time.  I hate Fibro and how debilitating it is to live, or rather not live!! :/

Realizing I'm bi polar

So it's such a crazy time in my life in a way.  In one way I feel like I'm doing this, on the other, I feel the mania, the sadness, the anxiety.... triggered by PTSD, this sucks!! :P

What and why

I won't force myself on anyone.  My birth mother may not make it and for whatever reason she won't speak to me.  I wonder if it's cuz I called her out and she hates me deep down- but why Wayne her brother over her one and only child/daughter?!? I will see what her wishes are and go from there.